it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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