dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize