We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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