You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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