I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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