I just cut my nipple shaving
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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