she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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