The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize