Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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