And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
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Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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