I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize