hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize