there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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