I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize