New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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