Welp...herpes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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