ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize