great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize