i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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