why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
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Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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