My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize