You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
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You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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