i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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