dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
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have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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