I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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