Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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