two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
4 words: hood of his car
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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