READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize