A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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