My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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