therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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