Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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