escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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