he shaved USA in his pubs
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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