How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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