You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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