she looked like the before picture.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
smell my finger.
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woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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