I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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