This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
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Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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