Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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