I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize