So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize