Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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