Your face is a jimmy john
i think my mom watched the whole time
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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