CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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