I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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