I wish you could order shots online.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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