I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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