i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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