I want to have your abortion
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize